For the record - I hate to be photographed and dislike being filmed even more. Because of my job, I have learned to grin and bear the occasional newspaper photo, TV news interview or web mention. But it is not a place I am comfortable in.
If you know me in person, you might find this hard to believe. I am not shy - and have no problem speaking in front of groups of any size. But seeing my picture or watching myself on TV makes me cringe. My inner critic takes over and all I can see are my faults.
The good news -
By the time this marathon team experience is over I will no longer be bothered by these things. The universe is giving me the opportunity to annihilate the inner critic - and I am am embracing it.
On Monday, our team made our first group TV appearance, appeared in the local paper AND have since had photos and bios added to Covenant Health website. (Please click the links if you want to see the proof). The ick factor of all these images has been really trying but I have learned something pretty important:
What I am finding is that this process is as much about accepting myself AS I AM, as it is about changing.
In my role as Girl Scout of Southern Appalachians COO, I know too well the damage that unrealistic media images can do to the hearts and minds of young women. If real women, of all ages don't put themselves out there in all their un-airbrushed "realness" how can we expect young women not to feel less than comfortable in their own skin? Less than happy with who they are? Less than worthy of taking care of themselves and their health?
So - I am putting myself out there. Despite the fact that this feels foreign and uncomfortable. But, I deserve better. And so do they.
Thanks for reading. For those who are looking for more info on the training part of this I promise to write more soon. Our first group run is on Saturday and I am sure I'll want to tell you all about it.